Feeding Tube Diet?! Stop the Insanity!

     Over the decades, there has been many an idea on how to lose weight quickly and with little effort as possible.  In the 1960’s we had the wooden roller machine, hot pant sauna suits that promised to break down fat, and the ever popular belt machine that jiggled away unwanted cellulite.  In the 1970’s there was the Scarsdale Diet and a diet ‘candy’ called Ayds. In the 1980’s the diet pill, Dexatrim became a strong seller for the woman on the go needing a ‘quick fix’.  Slim Fast was new on the market during this time as well.  Then in 1990, we began to think more about what we should be eating rather than taking a pill or jiggling it away.  Atkins began its ascend to fame in the 90’s with the message of no-carb, llow-carbdiet regime.  The new millennium, brought us Trim Spa, Hoodia, and Alli.  Energy drinks such as Monster, Red Bull and Rock Star that jilted and buzzed our insides with the high levels of caffeine to suppress our appetites altogether.

     Where am I going with all of this you ask? Recently, I discovered that there is a new diet fad making its claim to fame. One that involves no exercise, no counting calories, or weighing foods. Heck, there aren’t even any special foods to buy.  The only thing that one needs to do on this diet is just not eat or drink. Anything. For up to two weeks. Yep, you read correctly. You do absolutely nothing and the pounds just melt away.  But there is just one catch; you have to insert a feeding tube into your body for at least ten days. Still sound too good to be true? Hopefully not, but to hundreds of women around the country, they are turning to their doctors requesting this procedure. This diet is called the Feeding Tube Diet or The K-E Diet.  When I found out exactly why women are doing it, I was appalled.  It disgusts me to even type the words onto this page. 

     I’m ashamed as a woman, to think that other women are out there putting this tube up their nose, down their throats into their stomachs for ten days in order to, ready for this? Fit into their wedding gowns. Something that is as shallow as fitting into a dress that a woman is only going to wear for one day.  Albeit the day is a very important one, however, the question here is, if a bride is so concerned that she is not going to fit into a wedding dress ten days before a wedding, why wasn’t she watching what she was eating all along, and why on earth did she buy such a small size in the first place? It just doesn’t make sense. 

     Feeding tubes are for the sick and the dying. Medical professionals usually require feeding tubes to individuals who cannot swallow on their own but still need nutrients administered into their bodies on a daily basis.  According to the Brown University website, “Feeding tubes may provide nutrition to people who have difficulty swallowing or unable to eat for medical reasons. A feeding tube is a device which transports liquid nutrition to your stomach. A feeding tube can be inserted into the stomach (G-tubes), through the nose and into the stomach (NG-tubes), or through the nose and into the small intestine (NJ tubes). The NG and NJ tubes are considered to be temporary and the G tube is considered more permanent but it can be removed.”

     The NY Daily News reported the procedure costs upwards of $1,500.00 for a mere ten day’s treatment. “Jessica Schnaider, a bride from Surfside, Fla., happily paid $1,500 to have the tube inserted for 10 days in order to look just right for her wedding pictures.” Happily? We have turned into a pretty twisted society when the thought of a feeding tube inserted into our bodies make us happy.  

     It’s not just the patients who have become a bit greedy with their body image, but the medical professionals I feel have become equally as greedy to permit this type of procedure to their patients. Dr. Oliver R. Di Pietro told The New York Times that he resisted the idea of using the diet on people who just wanted to drop a few pounds but then changed his mind. “Why should I say 5 or 10 pounds are not enough?” the Bay Harbor Islands, Fla., doctor told The Times. “People want to be perfect.” 

Keep rationalizing your greed doctor.

     Like anything else of a medical nature, there are side effects. Nothing comes without a price.  If you don’t mind the dizziness, nausea, and constipation; not to mention having to carry around a bag o’ nutrition and explain your shallow reasons to friends and family of why you look like you are deathly ill, then this diet may be something for you to consider. 

Sarcastically said, of course.

     Now, I don’t know about you, but another option would be to just rather put the chips and chocolate down, walks at least 30 minutes a day, keeps and intake at the healthy caloric level of around 1,200, drink at least eight glasses of water a day, and oh yeah, buy a wedding dress that fits.